More and more couples are asking for money these days—but how much should you give? According to etiquette, it is not really appropriate to give money as a wedding gift. It can make guests uncomfortable, since the couple can see exactly how much each person gave.

A Bit of History

In the past, it was common for couples to get married “from home.” They would create lists of household items they still needed—dishes, vases, pillows, and more. So gifts were always physical presents, and never money. These days, people usually get married much later in life, often with a fully furnished home and sometimes even kids. That’s why traditional gift lists are becoming less common.

How Much Money Should You Give?

You can base the amount on your relationship to the couple. Are you family, a colleague, a close friend, or more of an acquaintance?

• Day guests usually give between €50 and €75 per couple and €30 to €60 if you’re coming alone.
• Evening guests typically give between €20 and €45 per couple and €20 to €30 if solo.
• Direct family or best friends often give between €50 and €150.
• Other family or friends: €30 to €60.
• Colleagues: €20 to €40, depending on your situation.

Of course, these amounts are just suggestions—you should only give what you feel comfortable with and what you can afford.

Tips for Giving a Gift

Don’t feel like giving money? That’s totally fine—just buy a gift instead. Nobody has to know what you spent. A few useful tips:

• Keep the receipt – In case the couple already has the gift or doesn’t love it.
• Group gift – Consider teaming up with others to buy something bigger.
• Ask family – Unsure about your gift idea? Ask close family or friends for advice.

Ideas for Wedding Gifts

• Money – Make it fun! Put it in balloons or fold it into shapes. Give them currency for their honeymoon destination.
• Gift cards – For home improvement, garden centers, or decor stores.
• Dinner – A restaurant voucher for their favorite place. Join them if you’re close!
• Overnight stay – A romantic hotel or even a castle stay.
• Party photo app – A live photo-sharing app for the big day.
• Drinks – A nice bottle of wine or liquor they love, with snacks.