You want to marry your partner, but first you still need to ask her father for her hand. This is a very important event. After all, her father is giving away his daughter, so he wants to be sure she’ll be safe and well taken care of with you. That’s why asking for her hand can be a bit intimidating. If it feels easier, you can ask both parents at the same time.

Why Do You Ask for Her Hand?

Asking for her hand is mainly a sign of respect toward her father – and also toward her parents and your partner.
It shows that you value their role in her life and take your intentions seriously. It also helps build a better bond with her father.
If you don’t ask, he might feel hurt or take it personally, and you don’t want any tension – especially not around the Christmas dinner table.
It’s a beautiful way to strengthen your connection with her family.

When Do You Ask for Her Hand?

When should you ask – before or after the proposal?
Traditionally, you ask before the proposal. But these days, many people do it afterwards as well. It’s totally up to you.
If you ask before proposing, it shows extra respect and gives her father a chance to give his blessing.
That might give you a bit more confidence knowing you have the family’s approval.

The Reaction

Of course, you’re probably curious (and a bit nervous) about how her dad will react.
Most of the time, it goes well. He’ll likely be happy and appreciate the fact that you came to him first.
He might ask you a few questions about your plans for the future – whether you plan to move, how you’ll handle finances, etc.
That’s totally normal – it just shows he cares and wants the best for his daughter.

How Do You Ask for Her Hand?

Asking her father is always a delicate moment. Make sure you have a good idea of what you want to say.
You might give a small personal gift, but the most important thing is to be respectful.
Tell him why you love his daughter and why you want to marry her.
Let him know he’s not losing a daughter – he’s gaining a son-in-law who will always care for her.
Bringing a bouquet for her mother can also help you make a good impression.